Do you still remember how hopeful my last post was? I do. I painfully do.
The instructor is nice, and I honestly appreciate how she chooses to give us an extra assignment of filling in some of the missing steps in the solution of every problem. But that technique creates a problem in the class full of non-math oriented students. The teacher writes the solutions in shortcuts. We, the students, see them all as a mess, if not just a puzzle.
To be honest, I couldn’t keep up with the lessons, so I just wrote the solutions down on my notebook, looking at them blankly, like a programmed move. There are way too much identities to cram into my tiny head, way too much rules and theorems, and way too much methods to get to an answer.
I decided to learn the lessons again at my own pace when I get home. There are no distractions and I can hear only my thoughts. Math may not love me back, but I love it even though I find Math hard to understand.
Calculus isn’t easy. I’m beginning to see how I really am not suited for Mathematics. It seems like all I could do was college algebra and basic trigonometry. But I always appreciate it when some of my friends approach me and I could help them solve the problems, such as those provided in the problem set. Even though I find Calculus difficult, I sometimes manage to clear my thoughts when I needed silence and concentration. I also appreciate the efforts of my classmates in correcting me and in searching for the right solutions with me. It’s a solid proof that we are not blindly relying on each other, and that we are trying our best in learning how to deal with the problems.
Somehow I still have turned this post into something hopeful. 🙂